King Henry IV Part One
John Falstaff-Fal-Jack: Spencer
King Henry: Jenny
Prince Henry-Hal: Kenzie
Thomas Percy-Worcester: Cameron
Hostess: Cameron
Lady Percy: Spencer
Douglas-Archibald: Lisa
Hotspur-Henry Percy: Jennifer
Walter Blunt: Kenzie
Two Robbed Travelers: Lisa & Jennifer
Sheriff: Jenny
Narrator: Lisa/ Jennifer
Act I Scene I
King Henry:
So shaken as we are, so wan with car,
Find we a time for frighted peace to pant
and breathe short-winded accents of new broils
To be commenced in far remote lands.
like the Meteors of a troubled heaven,
All of one nature, of one substance bred,
Did lately meet in the intestine shock
and Furioius close of civil butchery.
March all one way and be no more opposed
Against acquaintance, kindred and allies.
The edge of war, like an ill-sheathed knife,
No more shall cut his master.
Blunt: What say you my liege? You speak of war, but I have news of more...and Mortimer..
King: I suppose this news disrupts our plans to invade the Holy Land.
Blunt: On Holy Rood Day there was a terrible battle with the Scots and it’s still uncertain who hath prevailed.
King: One hopes Hotspur hath won, for he is as my son should be. Hotspur is the theme of Honor’s tongue. Send forth Hotspur.
Blunt: I will my liege.
Scene II
Falstaff: (Falstaff wakes with hangover) What time of day be it?
Prince: Why would such a person ask such a superfluous question, when thou live only by night?
Falstaff: I live by night because I am a gentleman of the shade, we are minions of the moon.
Prince: The times change like the tide. And we are as the sea.
Falstaff: As does happy hour with it! Hostess! Another flagon of sack. Tell me, Hal, what’s on your mind?
Prince: I find myself here too often, and I’m not sure my Pops appreciates the company I keep. But I have to say, I look pretty good next to you.
Falstaff: And who art thou to judge me? For you displease your father as much as I displease thee.
Prince: I must practice my judgments, for one day I’ll govern the tide that is men. Perhaps it’s time for a ‘sea change.’
Falstaff: Or is that a scene change?
Prince: I’ll so offend to make offense a skill,
Redeeming time when men think least I will.
Scene 3
Narrator: The king calls upon Hotspur. Tempers rise as the King lays down an ultimatum to the Percy family demanding the prisoners be released. Tempers rose as the king lays down an ultimatum to the Percy family.
Blunt: I present Sir Hotspur my liege, but--
King: --Brilliant! What news, my Henry?
Hotspur: You see, my demands for the prisoners on your majesty’s behalf were successful.
KING: Brilliant! Are they all home safe and sound?
Hotspur: Now? No, no, no. They are…
Worcester: My nephew is very exhausted, and needn’t do, how do I say this?…your chores so soon after a war.
King: Why you insubordinate--. (directed mostly at Hotspur)
Hotspur: They are ready for release once I’m granted the ransom funds for Mortimer!
Blunt: My liege, he is a Percy in-law and a key contributor in the whole Richard debacle.
King: He can wait! I want my noble prisoners!
HOTSPUR: “Zounds! You are an ungrateful, callous, ignorant… Bolingbroke.”
King: You counterfeit! Out!
Hotspur: O pardon me that I descend so low. We’re gone.
Worcester: My liege, I will talk with the boy.
Narrator: Hotspur and Worcester retire and conspire to overthrow the King, though the king believes Worcester is noble. The back story is that they helped King Henry unrightly obtain his crown from the prior incumbent Richard. They want some ends, and they want their family together, Mortimer, that is, who is being held by the Welsh [not the Scots who were the adversary in the aforementioned war].
WORCESTOR: “We will have our revenge. Now farewell.”
HOTSPUR: “Message me when the plan is ready.”
Worcester: Word.
Act 2 Scene 2
FALSTAFF: (entering the tavern) “Where the hell is my horse?”
PRINCE: “Calm down Chubbs. You lost your horse? You’ve had a few too many, then?”
FALSTAFF: “It was stolen! A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true to one another. Damn them.”
Prince: Peace, ye fat ass. Use your head, now lay thine ear near the ground and feel the vibration of the thieves.
Falstaff: (struggling with his size to properly let himself lie) There’s sign! I hear…
HOSTESS: “People are approaching!”
Prince – Then grab thy costume!
Hostess – Aye.
FALSTAFF: “Hide!”
Prince – Bollocks. The instinct of thievery in this country.
The rich people enter and are robbed by Falstaff, who gets very happy because of his luck. Then the Prince in costume robs the serenely drunk Falstaff.
FALSTAFF: “Strike! Down with them! Cut the villains throats! Ah, whoreson caterpillars. Bacon fed knaves! Fleece them! Take all their money!”
HOSTESS: “Cha-ching!”
Act 2 Scene 3
HOTSPUR: “How now Kate? I must leave you within these two hours.”
LADY PERCY: “Wait! Where are you going!? You are leaving me?”
HOTSPUR: “I must.”
LADY PERCY: “Hmmphh… You must not love me.”
HOTSPUR: “Babe, I gotta go. Someone’s got to bring home the bacon.”
LADY PERCY: “I’m happy with tea and crumpets, thank you very much. Please, why must you-?”
HOTSPUR: “Oh, I’ll tell you all about our plan to overthrow the King, but business is a callin’.”
LADY PERCY: “You never listen to me.”
Hotspur – Is my horse ready?
Lady Percy – Nay! Bloody power-hungry, wild-west yellow scents of mustard they are! Cowards, You and your crew!
HOTSPUR: “Okay, chill. It’s under control, babe. Just don’t be a gossip. You will not repeat what you do not know, and I know how you like to run your mouth. Ciao!”
LADY PERCY: Don’t you love me? If you do not, I will love myself. If you do not, tell me!”
Hotspur: I love our family! Power to the Percys!
Act 2 Scene 4
Hal - Anyone? (asks the bar, pause) Not one? It really is the bore’s tavern.
Host - My lord, I’m on the clock. O my lord, Sir John approaches. Shall I let him?
Hal - Let him alone awhile, and then open the door…the drunk
Falstaff – (enters tavern) A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too! Give me a cup of sack! (drinks) Marry, and amen!
Hal – Cowards are the talk of today?
Falstaff –nothing but roguery to be found in villainous men: yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it.
Hal – Why, you whoreson round man, what’s the matter?
Fal – There lives not three good men unhanged in England; and one of them is fat, and grows old! A plague of all cowards! You a coward? Or you, you a coward?
Host – O my Sir John, ye call me a coward, fatty, and I’ll stab thee!
Fal – Aye! Nay!
Hal – O villain. What have you been up to, speak Sir?
Fal – There were more, say four, than I find here Hal—If I tell thee a lie, spit in my face and call me horse.
Hal –(speaks to hostess) This sanguine coward, this bed presser, this horse backbreaker, this huge hill of flesh
Fal – Aye, but believe me. I subdued the two of ‘em—
Hal – How should’st four become two?
Fal – I said four, didn’t I? Four, I say Hal! I took ‘em down, and got the loot until it was…took from my grasp. If only I could make out their faces.
Hal – Oh, Jackie, how long has it been since thou saw’st even thine own knee?
Fal – My own knee! When I was about your years.
Hal – How thou knows it’s still there?
Fal – Oh, Instinct. Instinct is great matter. I was a coward on instinct. One day, Hal, you’ll be leader, King of England and have to lead by instinct.
Hal – Do you speak like a king? You stand for me, (Falstaff nods) and I’ll play my father (gets into character) Well, here I am set.
Fal – Papa!
Hal – Now, Harry, I hear grievous complaints of thee thy company.
Fal – bloody false—nay!
Hal – Nay, eh? Swearest thou, ungracious boy? Is’t thou haunted by the devil who appears in the likeness of an old fat man—why dost thou affiliate with that one ton trunk of humours, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that cunningly crafty puddingfilled belly? That vanity in years is good mere but to taste sack and drink it.
Fal – My lord, this man I know, but do not call a true piece of gold counterfeit.
Hal – the villainous, abominable misleader of youth, Falstaff, that old white bearded Satan having the prudence of gold?
Fal – His white hairs do witness his age. But, for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack, true Jack, valiant Jack. If ye are in a banishing mood then banish plump, old Jack. Yet, if so then banish all the world. (There’s a knock on the tavern door)
Hal – I do, I will.
Host – In or out, my lord?
Fal – Out ye rogue!—Play out the play, I have much to say on behalf of that Falstaff.
Host – O sir Jack, my lord, it’s the sheriff!
Fal – Dost thou hear Hal?
Hal – Hide thee behind the bar, fat man. Now, let’s put on our true faces.
Fal – I’ll find my true face…Behind the bar on the bottom shelf. I’ll hide me. (hides)
Hal – master sheriff, what’s your will with me?
Sheriff – Pardon me, my lord. We’re looking for a well known, my grace, a gross…fat man.
Hal – Describe this gross, fat man.
Sheriff – (Improv and elaborate on FaIstaff’s image) Image…Oh…um…grease…and… as butter, my lord.
Hal – Ah, I see. The man is an employee of mine and he will answer thee concerning…
Sheriff - …a robbery of two men, my lord.
Hal – a robbery! The slippery little slime ball. I’ll call on him right away.
Sheriff – good night, noble lord.
Hal – oily rascal! (walks over to the bar) Falstaff—fallen flat fast asleep, and snorting like a horse.
Host – Thee did ‘nay’ and spit much in betwixt his few orders of sack, the dear Jack!
Hal – Search his pockets. What hast thou found?
Host – nothing but papers, my lord.
Hal – (takes papers and reads) A capon, sauce, two gallons sack, anchovies and sack after supper, bread. A grocery list! Let him sleep till day, the rogue.
Host – O Jack…good morrow.
Hal – Good morrow.
Act 3 Scene 2
Enter King and Prince
Narrator: Little has changed in 500 years. Fathers are still disappointed in their sons and sons still push the boundaries. Prince Harry and the King sit down and have a father-son chat where the King expresses his concerns with Prince Henry’s behavior.
KING: Tell me else, could such inordinate and low desires, Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts, Such barren pleasures, rude society. As thou art matched withal, and grafted to, Accompany the greatness of thy blood, And hold their level with thy princely heart?
Prince: Come on dad, I’m just a kid!
KING: For thou has lost thy princely privilege with thy vile companions.
PRINCE: Cut me some slack pops. I know you don’t like my friends but the status of our relationship is about to change.
KING: What strange confessions dost thou make?
PRINCE: I shall hear after my thrice-gracious-lord, be more myself. Or more like thyself…
KING: Why, Harry. Thou art as degenerate as my enemies and through your actions thou hast become my enemies ally. You are more the traitor, Percy’s, friend than my own son.
Prince: Do not think so, you shall not find it so. God forgive me for my actions, I did not mean to make you think poorly of me. I will redeem myself on Percy’s head. And, in the closing of some glorious day, be bold to tell you that I am your son.
KING: You shall have your chance, the rebels have met. The Earl set forth today; on a Wednesday next, Harry you shall set forward. Our hands are full of business. Let’s away; Advantage feeds him fat while men delay.
Act 3 Scene 3
Scene opens on Falstaff, reflecting.
FALSTAFF: Come, sing me a song my hen; make me happy.
HOSTESS: Sing you a song Sir John? I’ll not.
FALSTAFF: Then serve me a sack. And a sandwich.
HOSTESS: I’ll see the payment first.
FALSTAFF: (checks pockets) Have you enquired yet as to who picked my pocket when I was here last?
HOSTESS: No, Sir John. Why, Sir John what do you think Sir John? Do you think I keep thieves in my house, Sir John?
FALSTAFF: Ye lie hostess. I’ll be sworn my pocket was picked. Go to, you are a woman, go.
Hostess: No, Sir John. You do not know me, Sir John. (Enter Prince) And now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it. My lord, I pray you, hear me.
PRINCE: What sayest thou mistress, quickly.
FALSTAFF: The other night I fell asleep behind the bar and my pockets were emptied ere I woke.
PRINCE: Charge an honest woman with picking thy pocket, why thou whoreson, impudent, embossed, rascal if there were anything in thy pocket but bills, tabs, peanut shells, and garters from yon brothel- then I am a villain. Art thou not ashamed?
FALSTAFF: Dost thou hear Hal? Thou knowest in the state of innocency Adam fell. And what should poor Jack Falstaff do in the days of villainy? Thou seest that I have more flesh than another man and therefore more frailty. You confess then that you picked my pocket? (Prince rolls his eyes).
Hal – It appears so my sweet beefy boy. Here, Hostess, grab our dear Jack some breakfast. Oh, and Jackie boy, I trust you have helped pay the tab?
Fal – Oh, I do not like that paying back, it’s a double labor. I need a secretary for these things, Oh Hostess!
Hostess – Nay, plumpy!
Hal – Dear, his name does contain ‘staff’.
Hostess – and ‘false’!
Fal – Tis a double labor.
Hal - Excellent. Well-Jack, we are off to meet our adversaries. Ye are in charge of the foot.
Fal – Aye!
Hal – Okay, just remember that you are Virtuous in this war alone. So meet me at this place and at this time on the morrow. Eat up and preserve your strength then into battle we shall run!
FALSTAFF: Rare words, brave world! Woman, fix me a sandwich .
Act IV Scene
Narrator: Both sides, the Percy’s and the Royal family prepare for war. So it’s the disgruntled Percy family versus the going-for-broke King’s cavalry.
King: What a wonderful Wednesday my Worcester.
Worcester: it appears so. What does my liege wish?
King – Offer this treaty, for amnesty. I’ll pardon the rebels if they stand down. Offer it to them.
Worcester – (leaves to rebel camp) Not a detail missed, my liege.
Narrator – at this point there’s a lot of negotiating for peace and avoiding rebellion. Many messengers are sent back and forth. And Worcester, in the text itself, is not the only messenger, but its funny here because he’s playing all of them. Keep in mind that the he is an undercover guy now, although the king is onto him.
Worcester – Here’s the gist. There’s this rabble about amnesty and pardoning.
Hotspur – That’s the not point here uncle! The king needs to get got, and we need to take our rightful place.
Douglas – I want the power!!
Worcester – so what should I relay to the king?
Hotspur – Nay, nay. That’s my reply. Make haste!
Worcester – Aye, Aye.
Act V Scene I
Narrator-Worcester enters and tells the king Hotspur’s reply. Worcester leaves, then Blunt enters
King- Here, my sir, take my garments. You are to be a scout of the wood. You are to follow that rat Percy.
Blunt – Yea, my liege, I will honour thee.
King – Prithee thee stay hidden.
Blunt – I’ll disguise too well. So long, farewell! (leaves)
Hal – Our allied enemies are confident against the world in arms.
King – Then the allies for this side will befriend and confide with God. Peace! (leaves)
Fal – Hal, in God we trust?
Hal - …or thou owest God a death. An honourable one. (Hal leaves)
Fal – Tis no matter, though tis an matter of honour. Though I beseech of you, what is honour? If I lose an arm or a leg is that honourable? No. Can I hear honor or feel it? No. tis insensible, then? Yea, to the dead. Will it not live with the living? No. Then it’s settled. I’ll have nothing to do with it!
Scene II
Worcester – he suspects us! We’re screwed! He knows!
Douglas – shut it! He doesn’t know.
Hotspur – My uncle, you’re back, what news?
Worcester – to battle with ye are the wishes of the king. Oh, and the Prince has called you out. Some personal faction action he wishes to satisfy.
Hotspur - That swine! I’ll…I’ll…I’ll…oh, he’s going down! It’s on!
Douglas – To battle! To the Bolingbroken camp. The blokes!
Worcester – then it’s going to be…on…quite soon. The king is advancing.
Hotspur – Then sound all the lofty instruments of war…let’s dance.
Douglas – Hotspurs, I will personally make it my number one commitment to kill the king. You got the Prince.
Hotspur – Then what of my dear uncle? The anxious feller.
Douglas – You’ll collect yourself here for a while then? (Worcester nods)
Hotspur – Let’s suit up!
Scene III
Blunt enters the scene, and he exits the shade with all of the king’s garments on only to find Douglas approaching.
Douglas – You’re going down, buddy.
Blunt – Buddy? The king shall not lose to a Scot. (they fight, ting tang ting Douglas stabs Blunt)
Douglas – I got you. Hey, Hotspur, the war’s over!
Hotspur – What say you?
Douglas – the king is no more.
Hotspur – who, the king, where?
Douglas – him, here.
Hotspur – Here?
Douglas - right there.
Hotspur – There?
Douglas – There.
Hotspur – (leaving, Douglas follows) Bloody hell, that’s not the king.
Douglas – he said he was. Then I’ll act a fool and rid all the counterfeits, too!
Act V Scene IV
Narrator: Hal and Falstaff go into battle for a little fighting, but they withdraw, at least momentarily because Hal is injured.
(Enter King and Prince Henry
KING: Harry, withdraw thyself; thou bleedest too much. –
PRINCE H: Tis merely a flesh wound! I will carry on!
(Enter Douglas
DOUGLAS: Another king! They grow like Hydra’s heads: I am Douglas, fatal to all that wear those colors. Are you another counterfeit?
KING: I am the true King!
DOUGLAS: I feel thou deceivest me. Whoever thou art, I shall kill thee!
King: I am sorry we have not yet met. But seeing thou fall’st on me so luckily, let us fight!
(They fight, the King starts to lose, and Prince Henry comes to his rescue).
PRINCE H: Look here you dumb Scot!
(They fight, Douglas flees)
PRINCE H: Are you alright? Clifton and Gawsey have called for reinforcements. We must hurry!
KING: Stay and breathe awhile. Thou hast redeemed thyself in this fair rescue thou hast brought me!
PRINCE H: I always got your back.
KING: Thou hast done smashingly well. I…love…you, son. It’s your redemption story. Now away to Clifton and I’ll to Gawsey!
(Exit King, enter Hotspur)
HOT: Well, well, well. If I mistake not, thou art Harry Monmouth.
PRINCE H: (turning) Oh, fantastic. That’s my name isn’t it?
HOT: I am Harry Percy
PRINCE H: A worthy opponent! You will no longer consider yourself equal to share in my glory. Two stars keep not their motion in one sphere. Nor can the two of us reign!
HOT: Nor shall it, Harry; for the hour is come to end one of us; if only your reputation in battle were as mine.
PRINCE H: I will prove myself better!
HOT: I cannot take such arrogance! This kingdom ain’t big enough for the both of us.
Hal – Bring it…Dirty Harry. (they fight)
Fal – childsplay! (Douglas enters, Fal fights him) Wahhhh—(after fighting, Fal gets “hurt” and then falls presumably dead and Douglas just leaves)
HOT: O Harry, thou hast robbed me of my youth. I better brook the loss of brittle life than those proud titles thou hast won of me. They wound my thoughts worse than thy sword my flesh. But thoughts, the slave of life, and life, time’s fool, and time, that takes survey of all the world, must have a stop. O, I could prophesy, but that the earthy and cold hand of death lies on my tongue. No, Percy, thou art dust, and food for— (he dies)
PRINCE H: For worms! You were a brave man Percy. A kingdom could not contain your spirit in life, yet now a small grave will do. No better man will the earth hold. What is this? Falstaff, fallen? Death has taken many nobler men today, though none so fat.
(Exit Prince Henry, Falstaff rises)
FAL: Fat? (looks at himself) I suppose so… I had to fake my death, though, for isn’t a dead man the true counterfeit of a living man? Therefore death is the counterfeit of life! (Looks around, sees Hotspur) What is this, Percy dead? What if he counterfeits too!?! I will kill him for sure, and take credit for his death!
Re-enter Prince Henry)
PRINCE H: Alive? I though you were dead!
FAL: Alive and kickin’! So much that I was even kickin’ Hotspur’s jack ass.
PRINCE H: You did not, I killed him!
FAL: He looked dead, just as I did. But I swear we were both down and out of breath, only to rise and fight for an hour. I wounded his thigh and he fell, this time most certainly dead!
PRINCE H: A strange story… (trumpet sounds) Regardless, I have no time for this. Come brother, let’s head to field to see what friends are living and who are counterfeited.
FAL: I’ll follow, but only for my reward in true gold!
Scene V
King: Thus ever did rebellion find rebuke. Ill spirited Worcester, did we not send grace, pardon, and terms of love to all of you?
Worcester: What I have done my safety urged me to, and I embrace this fortune patiently since not to avoided it falls on me.
King: Execute him (Point to Worcester), others we will pause upon (Worcester is moved out) What of the field?
Prince: The noble Scot, Lord Douglas, when he saw the noble Percy, and all his men upon the foot of fear fled with the rest. I beseech your Grace may I dispose of him.
King: Yea with all my heart. Then this remains, that we divide our power.
Narrator: Dividing the power means they must divide their military forces amongst the English perimeter to guard against other factions.
King: you, Harry will towards Wales.
Narrator: There were many characters who were not included from the orginal Henry Part 1, who Henry must now fight, including Glendower and the Earl of march
King: Rebellion in this land shall lose his way, meeting the check of such another day. And since this business so fair is done, let us not leave till all our own be won. (exit)
